I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
