You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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