It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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