I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I think my vagina is haunted
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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