So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
