im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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