you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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