Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
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You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
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Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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