PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
