walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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