Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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