Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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