I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
