god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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