FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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