these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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