I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Pappa wants mamma naked
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I pour the whiskey from now on
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
