If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize