she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
