32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
