evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
