He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
