So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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