If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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