I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
