she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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