I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
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