he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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