Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
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