I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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