Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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