I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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