I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
