i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
