can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
