3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize