wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
