Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
