It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
