Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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