god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
