I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
