you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize