hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
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after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
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I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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