Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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