I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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