God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
