$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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