Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
