Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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