We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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