There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
