I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
