So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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