i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
