Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
