The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
