I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
