There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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