distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We're too hungover to prance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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